But That They Build Nests In Your Hair

This week I've heard two different people say

I'm delightful

after being asked the standard question -

How are you?


















One was Anne who was working at Target.
I asked, How are you?
She replied, I'm delightful.
I asked, How is it that you're so certain like that?

Anne said, 
I choose it.
I get up every morning 
and choose to be positive, 
I choose to spread joy.

I can't stop thinking about Anne and her delightful-ness. 

Yesterday, at the market, buying raisins and chunky peanut butter, yogurt and celery + a few other things, I heard the young man behind me in line being asked by Kathy, my favorite cashier,

How are you?

He said, I'm delightful. [who are these people?]

Did you just say you were delightful?

















Yup, he said, I'm delightful.

No kidding, you're the second person in two days who has said they were DELIGHTFUL and I just find it...

A sign? the young man said. 

He had a very big grin and he was delightful. I wanted to take his picture but decided to simply savor the moment and carry on with the day. 

His sunny self reminded me of my orange tomatoes.

"That the birds of worry and care fly above your head, this you cannot change. But that they build nests in your hair, this you can prevent." 

- Chinese proverb

Anne of Target (Tar-je') and the young man at the market may not have heard about birds of worry, and if they have, they are clearly not letting them nest in their hair. 

So, I'm thinking if I say *I'm delightful,











[even if I have the perfect head for worry birds to build a nest]

I'll become delightful ~

*Even though I honestly don't feel delightful, I'm going to give this a whirl. Experiment with delightfulness. Say it when people ask me, how are you? Let me know if you try it too.

This Not So Spiritual Thought

I had this not so spiritual thought after dropping Claire off at her middle school, too many yellow buses and streams of kids and my kid taking a deep breath before stepping out into the kid-stream, 

After I said, 

don't let the bastards get you down, honey

mommy's little mantra

After driving back home past the old man lumbering into the laundry mat, thinking how un-shiny this town has gotten, really run-down in spots and kinda sad,

and the thought that occasionally sweeps over me,

I gotta get out of here

After that, I had this not so spiritual thought 

waiting for the light to turn green 

that Oprah, after enjoying a meal of fresh organic vegetables from her Maui garden, lovingly prepared by her personal chef, finds herself in the pantry frantically pulling out a big bag of Ruffles potato chips and starts shoving handfuls into her mouth while the sun sets over the Pacific Ocean.

  

Sweet Lizard Brain

There are no pre-requisites to being worthy. 

- Brene Brown 

I love that. It cracks open my messier places, the whole who do you think you are voice that shows up especially when I feel myself leaning into my writing or

my life as it is in this moment regardless of 

work 

bank account

age

____________(fill in the blank)

or the when are you going to get it together voice lurking in the wings to pounce when my small mind starts taking inventory on all the things that seem terribly wrong.

Cheri Huber, Buddhist meditation teacher has a wonderful line:

there's nothing wrong with you

Then she takes it a step further, chuckling when she says it because she says, people just can't handle this one... She says, 

there's nothing wrong. period.

small mind will argue on this one, 

sputtering and poking its finger in your face but that's what it does, 

sweet old lizard brain.

It's just trying to protect us from Woolly Mammoths.

Even full of doubt over pretty much everything these days, I'm whispering these mantras from Brene, Cheri, and the one I began this blog with -  

trust my path unflinching 

even when I can't see the path.

There are no prerequisites to this being alive. 

Stand for yourself today.

Practice kindness wherever you go.

Breathe in the ordinary moment.

xo

b

Buddha Got Bumped

Buddha's head cracked off the morning we took Michael to the airport.

Claire said, "What does it mean, Mom?"

"I need to get out of my head." I said.

Or maybe it's just that Buddha got bumped 

But I'm thinking it's a message, like all the other messages that have been coming my way lately.

The girl with the bright green shirt that read

LIVE IN THE NOW

The old Volkswagen bus on the highway with the license plate

THE TAO

The sighting of a silver clothesline of spider web, strands floating in the cool morning air with a spiral web suspended between tree and bush, the size of a small dessert plate.

a blissful pause

And this snippet by Mark Nepo, favorite poet/writer, 

We can only consider things for so long. After a while, all the information - all options and opinions - will begin to weigh us down... It is natural to be cautious and thoughtful, especially when faced with important decisions, but often the only way to know what awaits us is to live it.

This circled me back to Buddha's head, sitting on the sidelines, allowing for the body and breath to do the living, rather than living above the neck, 

over-thinking. 

We've been slipping scraps of paper 
with drawings and prayers
and other good things 

inside Buddha's belly.

One of these days we'll put the head back on.

Just not yet/

Practice Patience

All summer 

the fat pot of morning glories 

grew into a 
big 
spiraling 
heart-shaped leaves
twisted thing 
but no flowers. 

Where was the glory?

The day before my birthday, Elizabeth said

Bean, there's a flower out there. 

There was one glorious blue flower. 

Then two, then five.

Note to Self:

practice patience.

Get Naked And Sit In A Bucket Of Water

A fish cannot drown in water.

A bird does not fall in air.

Each creature God made

must live in their own true nature.

-Mechthild of Magdeburg

If you've been reading along with This Being Alive you may have sensed my doggy paddling in shallow water, like a fish out of water, and then bitch-slapping myself for feeling that way. 

Nice, right? 

So along with naps and aimless wandering around my house (while sending out resumes and cover letters), I've been exploring, yet again, the geography of one's own true nature, my own true nature. 

And since today is the start of my new year...

happy birthday to me

I've been wading around in my true nature, in between anxiety attacks, teaching yummy yoga classes, pulling weeds, + sleeping with books - all of which are my true nature. Exacto mundo! 

I've been searching for years for one true answer, wanting that 100% on the life test, writing, reading, self-studying, sending myself off to Buddhist retreats when all I really need to do to be my buddha self is to 

get naked and sit in a bucket of water

which is why stumbling upon the photo of me in the old zinc tub was a great HA HA moment. Looking into that kid's face, her little shoulders so relaxed, it hit me -

hell there I am! 

So, enough slapping and drowning, enough postponing joy with worry, enough feeling anxious because I think I need to be something more than the kid in the zinc tub. She is me. Or I'm her? 

It's a new year and I'm claiming myself back. 

May you claim you too. 

step by baby step or one big LEAP

Henceforth I ask not good fortune -- I myself am good fortune. Henceforth I whimper no more, postpone no more, need nothing. Strong and content, I travel the open road.

-Walt Whitman

xo thanks to all of you for traveling with me. 

b

Start Where You Are

A Monday thought:

Start where you are.
Use what you have.
Do what you can.

- Arthur Ashe


Simple words to live by. Thanks, Arthur....