Holding Nothing Back

Walking into the bedroom tonight, my eye was immediately drawn to a book called The Exquisite Risk by Mark Nepo. It was sticking out from under a few other books in a stack by my desk.

The title alone is a good place to hang out and ponder. The word, risk, reminds me of a therapist I saw probably twenty years ago, after my first marriage ended in divorce. I was a shell-shocked thirty year old who had managed to get out of a rough marriage in one piece with my daughter by my side.

During one session, she said, "You don't take many risks, do you?" And I remember thinking, Are you kidding me, lady? I stopped seeing her after that.

I like to open a book and read what shows up. I opened The Exquisite Risk and landed on page 54 and found this poem called Holding Nothing Back. And, like any good writing, it made me think. And feel.

Some days I look back over my life and it feels like it's been one huge risk. And other days, I'm still poised on the edge of my nest waiting to leap. Often, I can't seem to decipher where I'm at all. And maybe it doesn't really matter.

Holding Nothing Back

My purpose

at last,

to hold

nothing

back.

My goal:

to live

a thousand years,

not in succession,

but in every

breath.

~ Mark Nepo