Yesterday I went to post and couldn't.
Blogger down, the page read.
What?
I kept clicking, no service.
"I can't post," I said to Claire.
"Why, Mom?"
"Service is down, it won't let me on."
"That's awful," she said.
"You know, it's weird. At first I thought so too, Claire. But there's a part of me that feels relieved. I been doing this every day for over a year and..."
"No, Mom! It's not okay."
But surprisingly, it was okay.
Blogger World was out of my control.
But but but I've posted four hundred and thirty-six days! From campgrounds to Buddhist retreat centers! This is going to break my record!
There was nothing for me to do.
Understanding that was the relief.
I closed my laptop and went to bed.
Here's the thing about this place where I show up every day to write and put up my photos.
I see you, in my mind's eye, checking in.
Maybe you're at work, at Starbucks, or naked?
I write to you, sometimes you write back.
Like you complete me?
This Being Alive isn't about keeping a record alive, although I cop to clinging to it... 436 days in a row.
It was a breakthrough to let go of thinking I could control Blogger World, because believe me, I was looking for a way...
What did I learn from this technical glitch?
It was okay.
And, I missed our conversation ~
