be a light in the world

Hello lovelies,

I welcome all miracles, all blessings, all help and guidance, all light.

Somehow I figured out how to post an audio on my blog. 

Here's the link:

The Ramble 10.12.23 🍁 

This is a mundane miracle, I know. I am celebrating nonetheless. 

I often make rambles for friends and family as a way to stay connected. I send one. And maybe they send one back. It's sort of like writing a letter, which I love to do, but mostly it's chatting about things while I walk. In the past, I enjoyed making simple podcasts and posting them on my website which I've let go of for now. And today I thought, try it this way.

For this introverted-extrovert, I need conversation and connection, as much as I need the quiet of solo walks, pushing sunflowers seeds into warm soil, watching hummingbirds, drinking tea on my porch, writing in my notebook.

Have a listen to The Ramble, if the spirit moves you. 

Be a light to yourself.

Be a light in the world. 

love and peace,

b 🐝

 

some days 🍁

October 2, 2023

Some days I wake with what a friend calls, The Wobblies. 

The Wobblies arrive in a wave of worry and generally feeling unsure about the world + my place in it. That's before I've gotten out of bed.  

Morning routines help move me gently into the day, Wobblies or not.

Get up, brush my teeth, put on the kettle. Take my cup of tea and sit out front. 

Before our beloved dog Chewy died this past spring, the two of us would walk around the yard, him sniffing and peeing. Me breathing in the morning air, talking to the succulents, running my hand over the lavender in my neighbor's yard, putting my hand to heart as if my heart could breathe in the glorious scent. 

Always chatting with Chewy, my quiet confidante. 

I'd sit in the fabulous chair I found on a walk one day and write in my notebook about how weird I was feeling, but also about the hummingbirds, two of them, zipping around the front yard, briefly stopping at the sage and salvia for a sip. Chewy laying next to me.

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Today I woke with The Wobblies and a terrible ache for my dog. 

The air cool and crisp which is so lovely here in Southern California. October is upon us + here we go into this sweet season of change. How lucky to be here for all of it. 

Even the ache.

Today I did what I do most mornings. I took a walk. Said hello to the other walkers, people on bikes, people with dogs. Asked if I could say hi to their dog. Get a rub, a feel of fur. Kept walking up San Feliciano, down Providencia for a stop at Buddha's house. 

Did a laying of hands on his head. 

Leaned in for a moment, closed my eyes. 

Kept walking. 

This too, is part of my routine. 

One of my rituals. 

Rituals soothe me. 

October roses soothe too.

How do you soothe yourself?

I lean towards melancholy, especially in the autumn. Susan Cain, the author of Bittersweet, calls herself a happy melancholic. That sounds about right. So much beauty and kindness and love and joy in the world. So much suffering and loss and grief right along side. There is not one without the other. 

We all know this. 

And still, I remind myself daily: Above all else, love.

Namaste, my lovelies.

love, 

B 🐝

be the smiling dog

 

August 1, 2023

After last week's writing, Be Not Afraid (even though it's really hard), I decided to Google What to do when you're afraid of the world, something like that. 

Suggestions included: 

• learn more about your fears • breathe • keep a gratitude journal • assess the situation • talk to a trusted family member or friend • walk 

Nowhere was it mentioned to keep your eyes open for smiling dogs.

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When I look at this photo of the 2 dogs, taken in a coffee shop by my daughter, I see 2 me's. The dog holding back, not smiling, is my freaked out, wary, fearful self. The one who watched the news last week and got educated (again) about hate. On the anniversary of what would've been Emmet Till's eighty-second birthday, I learned that dumb f*cking people have used their precious life on this earth, to riddle the sign marking where young fourteen-year old Emmet's body was found, with bullets. The spot where his murdered body was left on the river bank. They shot the sign. The not smiling me needs to walk miles and miles to loosen my fear around that kind of hate. It's incomprehensible. I can't loosen it. 

The other dog, the smiling one, is hopeful, open-hearted, seeing the good. 

That riverbank has been turned into the Emmet Till and Mamie-Till Mobley National Monument. This doesn't change a thing about the history and story of Emmet's short life. It feels a feeble gesture in the push back against hate. But still, the smiling me is hopeful. Hopeful, in spite of the fact that Emmet's sign has been replaced multiple times due to being bullet-riddled. The new sign is ultra-bullet proof. 

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How do we turn our faces to the light with such terrible darkness? How do we be not afraid?

We open our eyes. We do not hide. We speak up. We help whenever + wherever we can to heal the broken parts of this sweet world. Of ourselves. Of others. One day at a time. We take very long walks, talk to trusted family or friends, practice gratitude, learn from our fears, be braver.

We write, paint, plant seeds, jump in the ocean. 

be the smiling dog.

love,

XO 

B

be not afraid (even though it's really hard)

 

July 25, 2023

Be Not Afraid is the card my husband picked this morning. This word card comes from a bag of words made for my mother, probably twenty-five years ago. I keep them on my desk and love the thought of her hands, Dorothy's hands, shuffling them. I miss my mother.

Be Not Afraid is a good one for today as I come back to this page after a year gone by. Why did I leave for so long? I'm a writer, always thinking, always stories swimming, a constant school of fish in my head. Why go silent? I can say the world is too noisy and I don't want to add to it. I can say I feel speechless with all that is going on in our country and globally. I am so f*cking angry at the cruelty and contraction of freedoms brought on by people in power to keep others down. Roe vs. Wade. Voting Rights. The Weaponization of Hate and White Nationalism and Fear. The clown show of Republicans who are soul-less + shameless. Clown show sounds funny. I mean, Donald Trump, still? 

This is an un-funny clown show. This is a very scary un-funny clown show. 

F*CK. 

Be Not Afraid reminds me that every voice pushing back from hate and chaos matters. Yours, mine. There are more of us all over the world who are saying no to this rise of frightening fascism. There are more of us. Fearless women in Iran, thousands in the streets of Jerusalem, in the streets of Hungary, and right here in the not so United States.  

People are in the streets for peace, justice, fairness, kindness, and yes, love. 

Be Not Afraid reminds me I cannot play small. Be silent. That if I can't march in the streets, I can connect to community from my chair. I long for community. Maybe because of the roaring noise, I need to return here. 

My sanctuary is writing. 

And books and plants and family. 

Fear is a daily companion. Am I getting this right? What's going to happen if I say, do, take action on. Fires, floods, Florida. Some days I can be the proverbial bad-ass. Others, like yesterday, I was convinced the sky was falling. It was a hard day. Mostly because I was hard on myself. That's usually the case. 

It's really hard to not be afraid. 😳

The remedies? 

Writing about the hard stuff. 

Tending (+ whispering to) my exhausted plants here in Southern California. 🪴

Talking to my daughters.

Making a simple dinner and watching a movie with Michael.

Reading (always)

...and so many simple moments of grace when we open to them.

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This is my offering. 

Our stories connect us. Silence and isolation, not so much. 

...and I've missed this and miss you, dear reader, even if it's just one of you. 

Just for today:

Be Not Afraid 

love and peace,

Betsy 🐝

A Small Thing

                  March 21 • 2022

It was a small thing, a moment. 

A red light, the car next to me. 

The man had his car window open. 

I rolled down my window. 

"Hi, just wishing you a good day, a nice day, I mean with the world being so nutty."

He smiled, surprised that someone was talking to him, then wished me the same. 

Light turned green. We drove off. 

That was it. 

A small thing. 

Praying for peace.

XO B 🐝

What's Here Now?

 

October 27 • 2021

This question came up in a short, simple meditation I was listening to ~ 

What's here now? 

Rather than feeling like this isn't it, isn't what you want or imagined life to be today, isn't what you're trying to make happen, maybe there's something already in your (our) experience right now that's:

peaceful

simple 

lovely 

gentle

relaxing

beautiful ...

Today I woke with a calm mind. I felt deeply at ease in my body too, which is not always the case for me. Making my tea I thought of Stephen, a small blonde-haired kid in one of my second grade classes from many years ago. I have never, ever and will hopefully, never forget Stephen and what he wrote in his journal one morning. Here he was - a little kid, tongue sticking out ever so slightly, head down,  concentrating on holding his pencil and the words he was writing. 

He wrote:

Today I am happy. I don't know why. 

Now that's a what's here now state of mind, body, spirit.  🍁

Can you stop right now and see what's already here for you? 

Notice the breeze

the bird

the sky

your strong body  

the tea

the plants

a loved one

a warm blanket

afternoon light

a beloved dog beneath your feet...

A friend said, 

I'm noticing the blessings flowing through me and to me. 

Me too.

xo b 🐝

What's Your Word?

    July 1 • 2021

The first day of a new month always feels like an opportunity to begin again, 

a fresh start. 🪴

Choose a word for yourself and take it with you into this new month. 

Or check in.  What word(s) are coming up for you. 

• Trust what arises. 

• Say it out loud. 

• Write it down. 

• Put it where you can see it.

• Let it be your mantra today, tomorrow, all month.

Maybe take your word and write about it. What I mean by ___________. 

flow, freedom, healing energy, gratitude, I'm enough, lighten up, self-care...

• Let yourself write (maybe ten minutes? More?) 

• Stay curious.

• Notice if anything surprises you.

Writing is a way into, and out of, the Self. 

Ah.

XO 🐝