Sunday, September 21, 2014

More Of The World

September 21. 2014

It's been a stellar day.

I had the joy of leading a yoga/writing retreat early this morning. It's an irreverent group of women which is why I love them. We laugh a lot. One woman came up to me afterwards and said, I'm glad I took this. I thought we might be standing in tree pose and writing at the same time. I said, That might be fun. Might have to try it. At the end, I read this little ditty written by a second grader named Jason, from 1997.

It goes like this: (I am writing it the way he did)

When I grow up I want to be a travler Because I want to see more of the world and icsplore unkone placece that I never seen in my life. and read thigs I have never red before. But I will go see anchint things to. Then go check out museums then climb the steepest monten.

Really there's nothing else to say after that. Jason nailed it for me. 

Joy in what we do is not an added feature; it's a sign of deep health. - Mark Nepo

I thought about that, or rather felt it in my whole being this morning. I got to do my favorite things. 

downward dogs 
talking (can't shut a preacher's kid up)
telling stories 
telling jokes
listening to people read their stuff

I want this kind of work all the time.  Joyful work. And I want to be a travler. And I want to tell you how I read a memoir called A Year Without Sugar recently and then the very next day met my friend Jane for tea at Wegman's where I ate a carrot muffin + a sticky bun all in one sitting; clearly a defiant move on my part. These things happen. 

After the yoga Claire and I went to Starbucks to people watch. She was concerned about me bringing a blueberry muffin (that I'd taken from the retreat!) into Starbucks. What? I'm Scottish.

Is that too weird, I asked.
Well, maybe just a little odd.

I left the muffin wrapped in a napkin in my backpack. (I bought a carrot muffin inside.) 

At home, I moved ten wheelbarrow-fuls of old red bricks from one part of my yard to another. Who needs to join a gym Why not? I cleaned out more garden beds which is way cheaper than a therapist. Claire drove our old blue truck down to the lake in our little neighborhood and I jumped in the lake.

as in, go jump in a lake!

This was joyful too. Really joyful.

All to say, because I have a propensity for autumnal melancholy, I am doing what I can to wake up my joy self. It's easy to be Henny Penny running around my yard worried about all kinds of stuff; shooters on the loose, aging, the mortgage, what to eat for dinner.

Just for today I say, No Henny. Take a break. Breath.

Like Jason, I want to see more of the world and icsplore unkone placece that I never seen in my life. Even when I feel like a hot mess, or confused or uncertain - all that stuff, I am claiming this little quote that I found for my birthday mantra (that was a few weeks ago, yea! September) -

you are the laboratory and every day is an experiment.
go and find what is new and unexpected. 

- joel elkes

Love you, lovelies. 

pass this on.


xo b

Friday, September 5, 2014

Have Mercy

September 5. 2014

This little guy is on top of the world, taking the hawk's eye view of things. Or toad's eye.

My perspective is somewhat larger but in the scheme of things, not by much. I'm thinking about how we walk around holding tight to our view of things and how we fit into the world, when if you took a step right or left, forward or back, change happens. It'll change something. Most of us don't do that until something jars us, something wonderful or not so wonderful wakes us up.

I bumped into an acquaintance at the local Panera this morning. I had a meeting. She was on the fly to a Weight Watcher's meeting after having just weighed in earlier. This is how the conversation went:

How are you?
I just went to a Weight Watcher's meeting. I hate myself.
Don't say that.
I haven't weighed this much ever. I think I need a bagel. I hate myself.
Whoa! You hate yourself?

This lovely person was swirling in this Brutal Vision of herself. Warped? But it was a mirror moment because, like many humans, I have a brutal-meister who beats me up, down. If I'm off center, tired, uncertain, __________, if my perspective needs tweaking but I haven't taken the steps...

do the hokey-fucking pokey, but for God's sake turn yourself around!

it's a whipping post when the nasty voice kicks in.

We need each other...

To flip the switch, spin us around, tell a different story, help us see the world and ourselves from a different vantage point.  My bagel-hungry friend was beating the shit out of herself for a number on the scale.

If it's not the scale, it's our age, or income, or zipcode. Something.

I helped a little. She bought yogurt instead of the bagel. She said she was happy she ran into me. She said it was like talking somebody out of going into the liquor store. It's all the same stuff, people. But here's the thing: I was happy to run into her too. My voice(s) were rolling this morning.

have mercy on yourself I told her.

We hugged and said our goodbyes. She left with a yogurt. I left lifted by my own message.

It's a simple one, This Being Alivers. It just takes doing, again and again.

Do the hokey pokey, turn yourself around.
Find a new way to look at yourself, an issue, a worry.
Look someone else in the eye and say, have mercy on yourself.

then take some for yourself too, amen.

xo b