Sunday, January 19, 2014

My Inner Joan Crawford

January 19. 2014

Suffering comes from our unwillingness to be present.

Living your yoga: Today notice five recurring thoughts that take you away from your life as it is. Write them down. When you have a chance, burn the paper lovingly, and let those thoughts drift away with the smoke. 

- Judith Hanson Lasater

This new year, I'm making a conscious effort to stay in my bed,in the present moment, right there under the covers when I first wake up. Do you have to work on this too? 

Or maybe you're thinking,

Why does she do that to herself? Yes, why? 

bad habit.

In the midst of winter and life's challenges and joys, I'm trying not to wander off as soon as my hazel eyes open to God knows what imaginary place my ego wants to drag me to. 

Jesus, you again?

me as future bag lady on the street?
me as sex-crazed teen oh those were the days

I'm happy to report that I've been 
more positive than usual 
in the dead of winter, 
currently unemployed, 
while fixing burst pipes during a Polar Vortex.

problems = challenges 
a matter of semantics, but it works.

This morning, I sensed my inner Joan Crawford wielding her wire hanger. Well, maybe not quite that bad, but she was poised to get on a tear, on the periphery, red-lipsticked mouth. 

Joan is such a drama queen.

Rather than fall prey to Joan,
I pulled out my yoga mat, 
made a lovely cup of tea, 
read today's A Year of Living Your Yoga meditation

+ decided to try Judith's advice.

I wrote down my five recurring thoughts and burned those babies in my fireplace. Lovingly of course. 

ah. ashes to ashes

Torch your worries? 

Don't have a fireplace, or big-ass bonfire? 
There's always the toilet or kitchen sink.
Light those nagging thoughts 
and rinse.
or flush.

Lovingly, of course.

the burn queen. 

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Your Peculiar

January 14. 2013

Perhaps this very instant is your time...

your own,
your peculiar,
your promised and presaged moment, 
out of all moments forever.

- Louise Bogan

A gem from Mom's meditation book on this gray day in PA.

Breathe into and give thanks for your peculiar.


xo b

Sunday, January 12, 2014

We Just Crowned

January 12. 2014

Dear Readers,

I'm blaming the recent Polar Vortex for throwing me completely off my New Year intention of picking one day a week to post and connect with the This Being Alive community. 

Anyway, I've been thinking,

Betsy, you need structure
Make a plan, stick to it
You showed up every single day for a year
Get a grip on the OCD, ADD, BED symptoms
Stop blaming the weather

I didn't even write on New Year's Day, to share our tradition of scribbling hopes and dreams on leaves or bark and sending them sailing in the cold, icy water of the Delaware River/

we changed it up this year

thank you Michael,

and went into NYC to walk the very chilly streets of Greenwich Village, where rather than floating our dreams down river, each of us slipped our card somewhere in Washington Square Park, my old neighborhood. I put mine in a crack in the fountain wall more wishes on the back with the hope that it would become a gift to a passerby who needed a wishing card? Michael left his dreams in the branches of the big tree at the park entrance. Claire found a secret spot.

On the way out of the city we did a drive-by of the tree at Rockefeller Center, finding ourselves in the middle of madness, crowded streets + traffic jams. We caught a glimpse of the tree,

see it?

and then turned to head across town. Traffic stopped. The magic feeling of our walk in the Village, the leaving of the wish cards, our simple meal at Portobello's on Thompson Street leaked out of me as the ambulance + police car pushed their way through our already jammed street. How the hell did we end up in the heart of Times Square, wrong turn indeed, where millions of frozen, out of their minds people had stood in the bitter cold the night before waiting for the ball to drop.

"I made a wrong turn going this way," Michael said.
"It feels like we're squeezing through a birth canal."

Then the light turned green, Michael navigated through the crowds, we pushed west, everyone breathed easier, especially me, 

Miss Feeling Squeezed in the Birth Canal.

Claire said, 

Well, I think we just crowned. 

out of the mouths of fourteen year olds

here's to a new year
birthing ourselves
again and again

note: there are no wrong turns.

Saturday, January 4, 2014

The Good Blue Air

January 4. 2014

It was the simplest thing.

I was outside about to clear the snow around the mailbox when three women walked up the road, neighbors out for a walk on this cold blue sunny day. They stopped and waved at me to come with them. Normally, I would've waved back and carried on with my shoveling. Instead, I stuck the shovel in the snow and met them where the road turns into my house. I slid right in and we kept walking on the sunny snowy road. Once around the neighborhood. 

One mile.

Now I'm back in my warm home

yoga mat

I feel 

lifted in spirit
refreshed by the good blue air
a walk with three women passing by.

It was the simplest thing.