Sunday, May 15, 2016

there's an art to this

When I don't know what else to do with my busy, over-active, monkey-jumping, Dear God please don't let Donald Trump become president mind, I gotta get physical. It's the only way through for me. That or slump in the corner weeping, sipping from my water bottle. One of the best remedies for me is clearing stuff: a closet, the garage, a neglected garden patch, a littered back road.

We loaded the big blue truck with 1 broken lawn mower which has been in the shed for a long time, an old mattress and frame, a cracked plastic bin, other stuff, and took it to our town's annual spring clean-up. After that trip, we took 3 perfectly good office filing cabinets that have been in the garage for years, + 2 bikes that will make some kids happy and donated to our local give and take day. 

This afternoon, while the wind shook trees and the sky went light and dark, Chewy and I walked the yard to see what we could see. I had my winter hat, garden gloves and an awesome pair of clippers. Chewy had his tennis ball. Huge surprise, I know.

It was easy to find clutter in the neglected back garden. I happily hacked at vines taking over the rhododendron and the small path that circles around it. I cut and pulled and cleared. Snapping a branch off a small tree I discovered it was dead. Next thing, I was wrestling with that tree. There's an art to this; walking one way as far as you can go, then back the other way. Sometimes it's a quick release. Other times patience is required. I cannot tell you the pleasure I get from this wrestling. Pulling and tugging, soil eventually loosening. Have you ever pulled a choking vine off a bush and felt the satisfaction of giving breath? Or cleaned out your underwear drawer and felt totally refreshed? Have you ever wrestled a tree? 

What can you untangle, cut, clear, pull loose, wrestle, give breath to today?

Give breath to you.

Drawers, vines, pulling the roots of a dead tree out of the ground - 

Might sound weird but it's a little like labor, as in giving birth.

pant pant, pull (instead of push?) then you see roots...I said it was weird.

I'm easily tangled up in my head. Anxiety grows like a vine when I'm not moving my energy for good. I don't need to wrestle with myself - I can take on an old tree instead. I know full well that getting off my ass and clearing something (garden, garage, underwear drawer) creates a sweet spaciousness inside my head and heart. 

+ I don't need a thing except for ~

big sky
big breath
open heart

and new pens. 

xo b