August 1, 2023
After last week's writing, Be Not Afraid (even though it's really hard), I decided to Google What to do when you're afraid of the world, something like that.
Suggestions included:
• learn more about your fears • breathe • keep a gratitude journal • assess the situation • talk to a trusted family member or friend • walk
Nowhere was it mentioned to keep your eyes open for smiling dogs.
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When I look at this photo of the 2 dogs, taken in a coffee shop by my daughter, I see 2 me's. The dog holding back, not smiling, is my freaked out, wary, fearful self. The one who watched the news last week and got educated (again) about hate. On the anniversary of what would've been Emmet Till's eighty-second birthday, I learned that dumb f*cking people have used their precious life on this earth, to riddle the sign marking where young fourteen-year old Emmet's body was found, with bullets. The spot where his murdered body was left on the river bank. They shot the sign. The not smiling me needs to walk miles and miles to loosen my fear around that kind of hate. It's incomprehensible. I can't loosen it.
The other dog, the smiling one, is hopeful, open-hearted, seeing the good.
That riverbank has been turned into the Emmet Till and Mamie-Till Mobley National Monument. This doesn't change a thing about the history and story of Emmet's short life. It feels a feeble gesture in the push back against hate. But still, the smiling me is hopeful. Hopeful, in spite of the fact that Emmet's sign has been replaced multiple times due to being bullet-riddled. The new sign is ultra-bullet proof.
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How do we turn our faces to the light with such terrible darkness? How do we be not afraid?
We open our eyes. We do not hide. We speak up. We help whenever + wherever we can to heal the broken parts of this sweet world. Of ourselves. Of others. One day at a time. We take very long walks, talk to trusted family or friends, practice gratitude, learn from our fears, be braver.
We write, paint, plant seeds, jump in the ocean.
be the smiling dog.
love,
XO
B
