Wednesday, December 7, 2016

pursue the obstacle: part 2

The question on the last post was:

Identify the biggest obstacle in your life at present. What is it keeping you from?

I said, nothing.Which is true.

But there's also, everything. Which is also true.

Depends on when you catch me. Yesterday I was bursting with compassion, for myself and others. I was seeing how many cars I could let go in front of me, laughing at the dog, being more open-hearted about possible change(s) in my life. Today I woke gripped by a wave of fear moving from my chest to my legs and back around. That 4:30 in the morning wave 'o fear. You know it.

Some days I'm the spiritual brave me.
Some days I want to crawl into somebody's lap and not deal with anything.
Some days I'm in the middle of the two.
Some days...You get it.

I post my blog to Facebook, not because I love Facebook ( it's overwhelming.) But because it's how I get to have a conversation with you. When you read, and comment, we're in a conversation. Then, others join in. The pursue the obstacle day hit a chord for readers. Instead of just hitting the like button, a few of you said, perfect timing for this, thanks.  


M left this note in the blog comment box. I was so grateful to receive it and want to share:

Thanks, Bets! On some days the answer is a sheepish, nothing really. On others it is a torrent of anger, blame, finger pointing at self and other, bewilderment. Your words ask me to ponder and reflect, get quiet and centered, make choices, then swim back into the stream. I am so glad you care enough to work it through, strand by strand. Your joyful heart shines. Love, M

She offers the other side of nothing. The anger, blame, finger pointing, and yes, bewilderment. I get that. It's not easy to pursue the obstacle. Some days I need to pursue nothing. Some days, I'm kissing it on the lips. Holding a bad opinion of ourselves is the true obstacle. It's here we get stuck.
We sit on the riverbank, then slip back into the stream, then to the riverbank, and back again. 

As the oft-bewildered Dory of Pixar fame chants, just keep swimming. 

xo b

Today I will accept my circumstances even if I lack direction and insight. I will remember to do things that make myself and other feel good during those times. I will trust that clarity will come of its own accord. - Melody Beattie

Monday, December 5, 2016

pursue the obstacle

One of my brothers is living with cancer. Recently, we were talking about this saying ~

 the obstacle is the way. 

He's trying to use it in his own present experience. It's one of my mumbling mantras.

What do you feel when you hear the obstacle is the way?

Do you seize up, protest? Or exhale and feel relief?

As messages tend to do, this one has come around again.

Today's meditation is from The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo. (Sharing parts of it...)

December 5

Pursue the obstacle.
It will set you free.

We are invited to question that in us which insists that what is before us is an obstacle in the first place. It may not be so. It may be so. It may be something small that our history of struggle has enlarged into tragedy or bad luck. 

So if we can, we must focus on our relationship to the stream and not to the things being carried alongside us. If something appears to be blocking our way, we must try to understand what is moving it and what is moving us. If our movement in the world is still blocked, perhaps we are meant to be still. We must try not to damage ourselves unnecessarily by trying to force a movement to happen before its time. 

~ Identify the biggest obstacle in your life at present. What is it keeping you from?

My answer came swiftly before I could edit in my mind.  Nothing.
Whatever It is can't keep me from anything. Only I can do that.

Maybe any current obstacles are benevolent messengers wanting attention?

xo b

Thursday, December 1, 2016

without noticing it

At 7:30 this morning, I was digging in the dirt. I saw my new neighbor through the trees and thought, She must think I'm burying something out here. Who gardens in December? 

Plant the seed, the idea, the dream, the tulip bulb ~ then get on with your life.

Drink your tea
walk the dog
humbly do your work

Meditate on the message I saw on the back of a truck the other day

Do Not Push  Push what? 

Clearly a sign, you think?

Most growing happens in our underground selves, the fertile quiet part, the dark intuitive place. No need to figure things out. Sticky paws and strategic minds need not apply. 

This is the do not push. 
This is the daily practice. 
Give me a boulder, I'll push it๐ŸŒ€


“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer. - Rilke

xo b