The question on the last post was:
Identify the biggest obstacle in your life at present. What is it keeping you from?
I said, nothing.Which is true.
But there's also, everything. Which is also true.
Depends on when you catch me. Yesterday I was bursting with compassion, for myself and others. I was seeing how many cars I could let go in front of me, laughing at the dog, being more open-hearted about possible change(s) in my life. Today I woke gripped by a wave of fear moving from my chest to my legs and back around. That 4:30 in the morning wave 'o fear. You know it.
Some days I'm the spiritual brave me.
Some days I want to crawl into somebody's lap and not deal with anything.
Some days I'm in the middle of the two.
Some days...You get it.
I post my blog to Facebook, not because I love Facebook ( it's overwhelming.) But because it's how I get to have a conversation with you. When you read, and comment, we're in a conversation. Then, others join in. The pursue the obstacle day hit a chord for readers. Instead of just hitting the like button, a few of you said, perfect timing for this, thanks.
M left this note in the blog comment box. I was so grateful to receive it and want to share:
Thanks, Bets! On some days the answer is a sheepish, nothing really. On others it is a torrent of anger, blame, finger pointing at self and other, bewilderment. Your words ask me to ponder and reflect, get quiet and centered, make choices, then swim back into the stream. I am so glad you care enough to work it through, strand by strand. Your joyful heart shines. Love, M
She offers the other side of nothing. The anger, blame, finger pointing, and yes, bewilderment. I get that. It's not easy to pursue the obstacle. Some days I need to pursue nothing. Some days, I'm kissing it on the lips. Holding a bad opinion of ourselves is the true obstacle. It's here we get stuck.
We sit on the riverbank, then slip back into the stream, then to the riverbank, and back again.
As the oft-bewildered Dory of Pixar fame chants, just keep swimming.
Today I will accept my circumstances even if I lack direction and insight. I will remember to do things that make myself and other feel good during those times. I will trust that clarity will come of its own accord. - Melody Beattie