Sunday, September 13, 2015

Is That Even A Word?



















September 13, 2015

un·flinch·ing
ˌənˈflin(t)SHiNG/

adjective: not showing fear or hesitation in the face of danger or difficulty.
synonyms: resolute, determined, single-minded, dogged, steadfast, solid, resolved, firm, committed, steady, unwavering, unflagging, unswerving, unfaltering, undaunted, fearless


Recently, I was sharing with a new friend about This Being Alive, how I fumbled my way into putting together my first post, circa March 1, 2010. We'd been talking about work, following one's calling in spite of the discomfort and uncertainty. I told her that my battle cry on that very first post was to trust my path unflinching. 

She said, hmmm, what's unflinching mean? 

I'm not sure it's even a word, I said, it may need ly, but to me it means sticking with something, holding fast to yourself, a dream - no matter what. Even, and most especially, when the voice(s) show up. They always show up:

Who do you think you are?
Why do you think You have some kind of calling? 
What the hell do you mean by unflinching anyway? 
Is that even a word? yes.

The voice(s) show up on schedule after having an inspired conversation with someone, or even an inspired moment with myself while throwing the ball for the dumb dog. The voice(s) like to stir me up, fearful of the bliss of creative energy and joy. 

What's the point of this story? Who cares?
What are you planning to DO with it?
Have you made any money yet? 

Part of me wants to believe they mean well in their own bitchy way. They're looking out for me, challenging me to see if I really believe in this unflinching trust. The voice(s) have crumpled me in tears but crumpling won't kill you and sometimes you need to weep yourself clear. I know this: the tug I feel to do the work, share the work, connect with people is more important than knowing or explaining why. 




The opposite of unflinching is  

shaken
scared
shrinking
faltering
wavering

I feel all of those things every day. That's when I call on unflinching self.

What part of your life needs unflinching energy? Where do you feel shaken, shrinking, scared? Take a deep breath and remember you're everything you need to be today. 

Baby steps, a giant leap, a gentle stroll. It doesn't matter. Just begin. (again)

xo b























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