Eyes opened at 5:23 am = instant thrumming of anxiety
call the woman at school
can i make it to claire's meet
monday is my late class day
is today the day i take dad to eye doctor
my neck still hurts
how am i going to pay for that
I lay in the dark and watched the action, as if from above, or from the sidelines. It felt a little like The Housewives of New Jersey,
(Claire insists it's a bonding thing when I watch with her)
people shouting, screaming across a table at each other
i never said that
yes you did
i swear on my children, i never
shut up, you...
It's a lovely show.
(but not if Theresa's in your head)
Post-bus stop drop in the dark I come home, make tea, take Chewy out into the sprinkling rain, feed Owen, the orange cat and sit with my small stack of books, my morning companions, my in-house therapists/spiritual guides? Words are life-lines that can pull us back to land when we're doggy-paddling in circles.
Here on This Being Alive, my intention is to toss out a line or two, and if even one person benefits (which is my hope), it's a good thing.
It could be a quote, a story, a rant, a meditation...
No good work comes from unrest. Unrest, fear, anger, or sadness may motivate us. These feelings are sometimes intended to compel action. But our best work emerges after these feelings have been replaced by peace...Let go of unrest. Let peace fill the void. Let peace come first. Then proceed. The task will get done, naturally and on time.
Today I will get peaceful first,
and let my life and work emerge from that base.
- Mom's Meditation Book
let peace come first today.