Dr. Falbo, beloved therapist,
used to say that my world was a tad small.
Besides teaching by day, and being a Mom to Jesse,
I lived a funny triad life of
and hanging with my dog, Che (rhymes with Ray)
this practice, helped me to feel that I wasn't
completely losing my mind.
Beloved therapist would say,
Blanche, he called me Blanche,
you are not crazy.
you are one of the sanest people I know, trust me,
This puffed me up,
thank god i'm not nuts...followed by,
if I'm not crazy, well, the world is in a pickle.
Beloved therapist moved.
Bed and books remain.
Plus the Ladies Home Journal I took from the dentist's office on Thursday where one of the headlines, Mood News: Dressing Up Is Good For Your Soul, caught my eye. And the shrimp recipe which looked absolutely delicious and which I'm quite certain I will never make.
It's been a long couple of weeks for many people, especially in the New York/ New Jersey area, where to begin to pick up the pieces, so whenever I start feeling sorry for myself over the front of our house which looks like a giant marched through, toppling six very big trees, I tell myself, get over it.
More than a few things have crossed my mind lately
way more than a few, trust me
like Why is this Pig wearing a Tommy Bahama shirt, while riding the bus panty-free? The same goes for his best friend, Hudson, the mouse. Nice tailored jacket but no pants.
[ Poppleton and Friends - Cynthia Rylant, Illustrated by Mark Teague]
or should a mother be concerned when her daughter, outside with the dog for his morning pee, is inhaling helium from the shriveling birthday balloons tied to the chair?
Yes, I taught her this but still.
And in my journal, this recurring theme of
lost and found-ness
I am not lost. That is a lie I tell myself. I can work myself up about degrees not earned, career paths not taken, money yet to be saved, I can beat the crap out of myself if that makes me feel worthy in some warped way? Or I can practice, in this moment, self-love and kindness, tenderness towards self and others, practice this for one minute, five minutes
I went on to write two pages of things I was grateful for
being held up by love
and a thousand unseen helping hands ~