Feel Yourself Up

She's always wanted a mohawk.

Mom, I love it. Why did I wait so long?

What pushed her to do it?

breast cancer

Jesse is 

healthy
vibrant
incredibly positive
fiercely loyal
funny
gorgeous
strong

[the list is endless]

She's thirty-one.
Her daughter is six.
She's my kid.

I've been swinging 
between silence and shouting over this thing.

I don't want any pity parties, Jesse said

More like a titty party, Claire said to her older sister

Our warrior bird with a lump, 
smaller than a marble, 
larger than a bb 
tucked under the skin of her right armpit. 

I found it, Mom, because I feel myself up.

Some women won't look at themselves in the mirror.
Some women don't want to see their bodies at all.
Some women hate their bodies. They hate them.

Try love today.

run your own loving hands over your body

yes, your hands over your very own body

belly
thighs
feet
fingers
arms
ass
heart 
breasts

feel yourself up.

What are you waiting to do?

Remember, no pity parties. 

What do you want to 
do
try
see
find
fail at?

cut your hair
take up boxing
sing in the choir
fall in love
feel yourself up
run a race

do it. 

xo b