The Best of Them

May 27. 2019

I meet with a small group on Tuesday mornings. Last week, in leading up to Memorial Day, the conversation cast a wider net of remembering and shared stories of loved ones who have died.

Sarah said, " I cook some of my Mom's favorite foods."

Adrian said, " My Dad never made a big deal about anything, especially if something got broken, even if someone put a dent in his car. He was like, no big deal. So, I'm like my Dad that way."

I said,"My Mom was a gardener, a letter writer. I like to write people snail mail, even if it's a simple postcard. My Dad liked to hike and he always chatted it up with strangers. He would say, tell me about your life? I like doing all those things too."

Gina said, " Being the best of them in my life now is how I honor and remember."

This Memorial Day, and every day, we honor and remember the fallen who bravely served and protected our country, as well as those who continue to do so, every day. Thank you.

For those we love and miss, let's keep them close by being the best of them.

Namaste,
b 🌀

Turtle Medicine 🐢

May 20. 2019

Here is a message from Turtle, of hidden strengths and talents, patience and support from both the Universe and Mother Gaia herself. Turtle is here to tell us that no matter how large an obstacle seems, with perseverance and faith, it will be overcome...

Yet Turtle is not in a rush. There is no stress, no overwhelm, just graceful, consistent, steady progressions. Work with Turtle Medicine and patience, calm, balance, and grace is yours. Slow down and experience the world around you in detail. Connect to Mother Earth and all her wonders. Nurture and protect your creative projects in your heart.

- Jamie Sans (Medicine Cards)

Thanks to my dear brother, Rob, for sending this tiny movie of Turtle. With the full moon and all the swirling energies of these times we live in, this is a beautiful and timely message:

• slow down 

• practice infinite patience with oneself (and others)

• tune into the wonders everywhere

• trust in the creative process inherent in everything

... lay your eggs and see what happens 

xo b

Best Thing I Ever Did 🌀

May 13. 2019

I always wanted to be a Mom.

I didn't necessarily want to be a wife. I mean, that wasn't my driving longing in life. 

But holding my own baby, yes. Watching Mr. Roger's Neighborhood and eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in the middle of the day, yes. Because my daughters are eighteen years apart, I was blessed to have two rounds of Fred Rogers and Bert and Ernie. Some days I needed those shows more than my kids.

I had two rounds of running around in rainstorms, telling stories while they soaked in the tub while I sat on the floor drinking wine, trips to the supermarket in butterfly wings, maybe no panties - if you can't beat them, join them? I always wanted my own pair of sparkly wings.

Conversely, I learned that wearing underwear in layers is an option, that all you need is a wagon and an umbrella and maybe some goldfish (the kind you eat) + you've got yourself a home close enough so Mom can see you through the window while you're parked in the driveway. I learned never go anywhere without a Go Bag: a book, snacks, a drink, change of clothes.

Oh, Moms can tell many happy, funny tales. We never tire.

I know too:

Not everyone has kids.
Some people have Moms who die too young.
Some people have Moms who are kind of crazy and not that fun to hang with.
Mothering can be lots of things that have nothing to do with kids.

This whole thing is a wild, wonderful, sometimes really weird crapshoot.

I'm feeling lucky:
My own mother was the sun to our family solar system. ☀️
My daughters are smart, lovely, funny, strong, kind people. Did I say funny?
Jesse + Claire - dearest and most cherished people.














I celebrate my good fortune, every day.

Hands down, best thing I ever did.

xo b

damn the doubts 🌀

May 6. 2019

Our doubts are traitors,
And make us lose the good we oft might win
By fearing its attempt.

- William Shakespeare

This gem from Willy S. + the tiny card collection sent by my friend, Pearly, feel good enough to set our sails for the week.

(I wrote a whole other thing but deleted it. The message = simplify.)

What little (or big) thing are you going to attempt this week?

Do it. ☀️

I'm not saying it's easy, but hell-

Damn the doubts.
Don't lose the good.
__________________________________________________________

xo  b

I'm a Volcano

April 29. 2019

My moods have been like swinging monkeys the past few days. Or maybe they're always like this. Like the weather, even in Los Angeles. Today the sky is dark, brooding, but later the sun might come out and hit the last of the lemons on the tree in our little back yard.

Last night I listed the monkey moods + states I'd been swinging in:

calm, peaceful, sobbing on the green chair for five minutes, then walking the dog, inspired, missing people, out of sorts, enjoying the red geraniums, terrible self-doubt, listening to a meditation, grasping for certainty, making a delicious quiche, enjoying a conversation, thinking about a creative project, joy over my younger brother coming to work here for two weeks...

You get it.

My neighbor invited me to cut bouquets from her exploding white rose bushes so I got my kitchen scissors and had at it. While snipping, her three year old daughter ran up to me and said,

I'm a volcano and skipped away.

(You know after the last couple of posts I really just want to be three, five, six again.)

I listened to a podcast where an actor said, "I'm here to share my messes."

The monkeys stopped jumping and chattering for a full minute when I heard that.

I'm a volcano. And so are you. We're a lot of things, all the time, all day long.

I sob, walk the dog, chat with my neighbor, cook a quiche, smell the roses.

Sink. 
Swim. 
Float.

I went to a beloved therapist years ago because I was convinced I was going crazy. I had left a bat-shit marriage at the time and thought for sure it had to be my mind that was cracking. My therapist, who lovingly called me Blanche ( I don't know why but found it endearing) said,

Blanche, you're one of the sanest people I know. 🌀

Monkey-naming, mess-sharing - it's how I stay sane, relatively speaking.

So, get out a notebook.
Sit down with a friend.
Name your monkeys.
Share your messes.

Find your inner volcano, then skip skip skip to my Lou.

xo b

Wherever I Go 🌞

April 15. 2019

Last week a friend shared this snippet of a story about her six year old grandson.

It went like this:

Steven said, "There's one thing you don't know about me."
My friend said, "Oh, what's that?"
Steven said, " I have fun wherever I go."

Whoa! Play around with that this week.

xo b

Maybe That's What Happened 💡

April 8. 2019

Ollie drew this picture with a weird invisible marker.
I said, "What is it?"
Ollie said, "It's a bag with a light bulb inside."

Later that day, we drove by the lake near Ollie's house (and my beloved old home). The lake was covered with large clumps of bright green algae floating near the shore.

"Wow," I said, "I wonder what's going on with the lake."
Ollie said, "Maybe a swamp tornado. Maybe that's what happened."















xo b