Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Keep Coming Back To It

The shadow side of having a birthday is all the thinking that goes like this:

I'm how old now?
I thought I'd be ____________by now (fill in the blank)
There's not enough time!!!
What's it all about, Alfie?

You get it. 
If you have a heart beat, 
this kind of thinking shows up.

at least every once in a while, or every five minutes...

It's the human condition to occasionally ask ourselves 
really worrisome, not helpful at all, questions. 

I call this, Henny Penny Syndrome.

But I don't want to talk about Henny.

I just want to share how a simple gesture, an action taken, will mute all the shadowy voices, if only for a little while. 

On my birthday, in the midst of jazz music and saying hello to people and yes, thinking maybe I should just go home and sit in the backyard and stare at the sky, pondering, as I am wont to do...

I get a birthday call from my brother, Rob. 

Happy Birthday, B! sounding very far away, but not.
Bertie! Where are you? 
I'm in the last village before the Arctic Circle.

wow = big grin = boy, do i feel loved.

A call... from the last village or next door, doesn't matter.
A letter scribbled in your own hand.
A homemade collage/card
A homemade cake left on the counter
A song on the voice mail
A hug
A laugh over anything, everything.

After all my circling and Henny-Penny-ing, 

I keep coming back to it. 

Life = love = ease = simple = sweet

photo by Rob Jackson/ Sigi, Iceland

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