Sunday, April 20, 2014

A Kind Of Luau?

April 20, 2014

I'm holding back from writing about this brief exchange Claire and I had last night while I was reading in one room and she had the tv on in the other:

Claire, what are you watching?
Sex Sent Me To The ER.

Probably best to tackle that another day.

Then there's the above invite I received a few weeks ago to attend a sort of luau over the death of Jesus. Those of you who are old enough, doesn't this Jesus looks suspiciously like a young James Garner, or maybe James Brolin? It's the hair and beard combo.

After months of watching my warrior kid go through one cancer treatment after the next, and after this cancer "journey" comes to an end on Friday when she has her last radiation treatment - #33 

I passed on the Jesus celebration of death party.

I'm a card-carrying re-birther. 

In my girlhood, I'd be decked out in shiny patent leather shoes with matching bag, white gloves, a pretty Easter dress + yes, even some kind of hat or head thing to go off to church to see Dad share the good news in the pulpit, so handsome. Mom slipping me and my brothers yellow and orange lifesavers and the small yellow pencils to draw on the offering cards -some of the happiest days of my life.

Today I choose the church of the big bed.

Old cat.

Big surprise, right?

The resident bunny was up at six (not me), hiding eggs.

I walked with my tea around the yard inspecting the Bunny's handiwork for the hunt. Strolling got me thinking how busy we (I?) get looking under rocks, in dark closets, a junk drawer? anywhere outside of ourselves for answers to this mysterious life. 

The answer's gotta be here somewhere. 

I'm the frantic White Rabbit in Alice in Wonderland?

seeking seeking scurrying scurrying 

i'm late i'm late 

Here's the twicky truth -

breathing room
unknowable mystery

are always right in front of us

inside us

It's the beautiful mystery.

The old cat
The Bunny and the egg
Jesus, James Garner and James Brolin

All mysteries too.

the peace that passeth understanding ~


Remind me when I forget this [because I will!]  Remind me that I don't have to look for love peace serenity joy compassion because

I am love, peace, serenity, joy + compassion.

And fear, worry, doubt. Yes, those too.

I can re-birth myself in every moment
From a church
or a big bed
the garden
even from a chemo infusion center.

re-birth yourself.

I'm reminding you.

xo b

No comments:

Post a Comment