Let Yourself Fly

April 27. 2014

I want to write about Jesse finishing her radiation and how damn brave she is woo hoo and Michael coming home from Los Angeles and how happy we are to have him home woo hoo and drinking tea and eating french fries at the Mountainhome Diner with my soul sister from Vermont. I want to write about Claire's drawings and writing and my funny work life. And Dad holding his own at Mrs. Bush's Personal Care Home and my mother-in-law, Johnnie 88 years young telling me on the phone -

Elizabeth, I guess I'm still a work in progress. 

amen to that.

And how slowly slowly I'm getting that  

I don't have to believe everything I think,

which is a GIANT relief. 

Just for today I'm writing about being at the river with Claire last week. It was a warmer day. We found a quiet spot and watched the small plane pulling gliders 

up
up 
up

and then the rope detached and the glider floated over the trees and river and us. Four gliders were released into the sky and every time the rope let go, I exhaled.

Claire hopped from one foot to the other, then with a howl plunged in the cold river and like an otter popped up, hair all wet and shiny.

I just need to feel cleansed she said.

I did not feel the need to be cleansed. I did feel like I was passing the baton to my kid because I've always believed you should get in the water early in the season and stay in as late as you can 

take the plunge 

but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I'm losing my edge.

We ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Claire read out loud from Watership Down by Richard Adams. It's a wonderful story about rabbits and all that goes on in the warren.  Read it.

It was the very best kind of afternoon.

river
books
swimming
sandwiches
conversation
sky watching

= a universal heartbeat?

At the center of the universe is a

loving heart that continues to beat

and that wants the best for every person.

- Mister Rogers

xo b