April 15, 2014
Sunday came and went; the past ten days are a blur.
I have a vague memory of subbing in a kindergarten class on April 7th, it was an exhausting experience, then I crashed. For days, I've been swept up in coughing + sneezing + occasionally choking
til my eyes popped out = boing!
I canceled the teeny work gigs I do have. I slept.
in the middle of the day/
I lost my voice.
I imagined living in a monastery,
nodding at people,
Speaking feels awkward. Writing, scattered.
Just today, with rain falling in sheets and taxes due, I feel better.
I went out to get a library book and dark chocolate chips. Books and chocolate chips are a staple here. I put gas in the car, thirty-three dollars to be exact. Jesse is thirty-two. I always add a year for her, at the very least. This pumping gas thing makes no sense.
I do it anyway.
On my travels I saw:
a girl wearing a shirt with trust nobody on the front
a man dressed all in yellow / coat pants boots
a tree strung with plastic Easter eggs
a houseplant blown over on a front porch
clumps of daffodils everywhere
Over morning tea, I experienced a shiver of weeping after thinking, Claire is fourteen! I may have cried out with my hoarse voice. The two cats and Chewy sighed in their sleep.
I thought, who would understand this?
then, Kerry would understand.
I'll stop here and offer this, arms wide open ~
Mysterious as it is - no matter our pain or excitement, our drama or circumstance - all that we could hope for is here.
We lack nothing.
- Mark Nepo