"I really should go into the office and get some work done but I really want to practice," Michael said.
Pause.
"Okay," I said, That's a good idea. Go into the office for a little while, then you can come home and root-toot-toot on your horn before we go out."
Pause.
"Honey?" Michael said, " When you say root-toot-tooting on your horn, it makes me feel like you're my mother and I have a small penis."
"You're kidding, right?"
"I know you don't mean it like that, the root-toot thing," he said," but you know how women say 'men don't understand us', well," and he's smiling now, "Women really don't get how men are wired. I mean, you say things to be helpful and to seek clarity and I'm smart enough to know that's what you're doing but there's still that part of me that hears something completely different. Men hear it differently."
Now I'm smiling.
"Michael, I'm pretty sure most women would agree that we are clueless as to what goes on inside men's minds. I was just offering some encouragement, suggestions."
Pause.
"And I gotta tell you...your penis wasn't even on my radar."
"I think because you've been a Mom for so long, and then all those years as a second grader teacher, you just can't help yourself," he said.
Pause.
"It's not a bad thing," Michael said, "I just get it."
"You mean like 'Billy, finish writing in your journal and then you can go draw spaceships with Dylan?"
"Yea, it's kinda like that."
We are smiling.
i'm laughing so hard right now (especially since i'm new to the ins and outs of being a teacher, a job which follows you around, off hours). this is a phenomenal piece. i love those humorous moments we subtly slip into and before we know it we're grinning from ear to ear at the innuendo we've fashioned.
ReplyDeleteI pretty much view everyone I meet, strangers and loved ones alike, as a second grader/ It's been my world-view for years now/ it just makes the most sense to me.
ReplyDeleteKeep grinning!