December 14. 2013
The girls are working on the annual Gingerbread houses. It's good to have traditions. I was reading this in one of my meditation books. Ritual, traditions help keep us grounded as humans. They are things we can lean into when life feels odd and complicated.
Everything is changing all the time.
To resist change causes suffering. Going through this fall with Michael in LA, with Jesse and her chemo and surgery, with my feelings of inadequacy over work, and worry over depressed loved ones,...on and on. There has been a softening that has come over me this week especially, seeing Jesse so vulnerable, always my teacher.
She said, "Mom, I think you're finally coming around to my way of thinking."
"You can't worry about the small stuff. Letting go of things out of your control is the best way. You seem to be doing better with this."
This while I was emptying out her chest drains.
Claire and I were out driving in the snow.
"Funny," I said, "how the weather people are naming snow storms."
"Yea, what's this one, Mom? Snowstorm Erotica?"