Monday, December 9, 2013

The Ordinary Things

December 9. 2013

Elizabeth said, "I think all the trees are ugly."

Nobody took the bait. We wandered around the used car lot of Christmas trees, looking for the right one to bring home. 

The air was sharp and cold, head-clearing air. 

Claire and I fell in love with this odd duck. Its sweet awkwardness called to us. We moved on, knowing we could easily spot it again if need be. With that trunk?

Anyway, it was all so easy. I'm not sure why but in the past, Michael and I have argued at the Christmas tree farm, once over the behavior of Chewy, our new dog, and the other times? Maybe out of habit? Weird, I know. Let's get a tree and argue, honey.

But it was just us girls this year and it felt so easy.

How about this one?

I like it
I like it
I like it
Me too.

Jesse's surgery is tomorrow. We won't know until between five and eight pm tonight what time it will be. I've had a steady thrumming in my chest for days, a mother's nervousness over any harm coming to her child. This one is not in my hands. Dammit! 

There is so much out of my hands. how can this be?

I learned this yesterday. Again.

We gotta keep doing 

the ordinary things 

when faced with hard things. 

Especially when faced with hard things. 

Take a ride in the big blue truck.
Get a tree.
Play Christmas music.
Decorate the tree
Make a fire.
Go out in the snow in the dark night.

As Mom used to say, don't be afraid to be happy.

xo b

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