That Steady Gaze

She's always had that steady gaze.


I squeaked out the first line of Happy Birthday to Jesse but couldn't get any further. The two of us, crying. 


"Sorry, honey. I just can't seem to..."


After lunch out together, we spent the afternoon drifting on the swings in her backyard; no brass band, no surprise party, no grand hullabaloo. Just us chickens swinging under the shade of tall, green maples, talking about stuff, throwing Mr Squeaky toy for Chewy while Elizabeth, my daughter's daughter, pushed Mr. Bunny down the red slide.


My mother liked to say, I'll always be your mother, even as we grew to be great friends.


"So turning thirty made me think...what are you going to do in the next thirty seconds, or days, or years? I know thirty seconds is a very short time but you can woof down half a cake in thirty seconds or snap at your spouse. Know what I mean, Mom? So, how do you want to live, be. You can break it down like that. Make good things happen. You can see things that way."


30 seconds, thirty minutes, thirty days, thirty years  ~

My kid is smart. 

funny. 

beautiful. 

strong. 

kind.

fiercely loyal. 

loving.

and my friend. I'll always be your mother. 

keep your gaze steady and strong.


happy birthday. love mom.